So you are probably wondering whose brilliant idea it was to attend the most rocking of new years eve party, hosted by none other than Tiber himself? Ya. It was mine. As soon as Patina uttered the words. Tiber, party , New Years. I was on board! I had plans! Big plans! And if all went to plan, I was going to have a little chat with my most favorite guy by the time the night was over!
I even did a little shopping to make sure I was dolled up and looking super cute for the occasion. Patina and her boy arrived at my place a little after 6pm and we headed out to Sugar Valley. The drive took forever. We had to go all the way up the hill to this little farm house. Ok, the house itself? Not so small. Tiber’s dad was an extremely successful doctor, and when you saw this place, it was obvious.
The moment we stepped inside, my plans went woooosh and right out of head. It didn’t help that two of them we were right in the hallway. I stopped dead in my tracks and Apple almost ran into me. “Whoa! Livi! You’re holding up the stable.” Patina teased.
“Uhh Sorry.” I winced, while trying to move out of the way.
Of course it wasn’t Tiber all alone. Oh no. I may been able to handle that. No it was Tiber and Chambray. Looking like Sugar Valleys sweetest couple. Yuck. I started to question, why I came along to this thing. Maybe if I just slipped back out the front door. No one would notice. No one had really seen us yet. Ya. Great idea. I took one step to make a run for it, when I felt someone grab my arm.
“Where we going.” I started to panic.
“You go on without us. I’m gonna get her some water.”
“Ok. Babe. She gonna be alright?”
“Ya, she will be fine. Go. Go.”
When we got to the kitchen, we found the place was already being occupied by a few of the girls who were having their own mini party. Patina lead me to the far wall, so we were as far away from as we could get and hopefully out of earshot. They seemed to be pretty into their own conversation though.
“I can’t do this.”
“Oh Livi, sure you can.”
“Nope. I am the biggest chicken alive. I would be better off going and diggin myself a hole and staying there all night.”
“You can do this! I promise.”
Suddenly there was a reply from behind Patina.
“Just tell him already. Everybody knows, in fact he is probably the only one who doesn’t.” Watermelon Leered.
“LOL Ya!” The others chimed in.
Oh Berry. This was not what I wanted to hear.
“Everybody knows?” I questioned with a gulp. “Do you think she knows?”
“Ok maybe two people don’t know.” She corrected.
Well that was a relief…
I looked back at Patina.
“Whats the worse that could happen?”
“He tells me to go jump off a cliff and that he never wants to see me again?”
“Oh now your just being ridiculous! Lets go dance!”
I did my best to just forget about it and stop worrying, if the moment presented itself I would take it.
That worked for a little while, but as the time ticked on and still no opportunity was arising, I started to get anxious and slightly flustered. I was pumping myself up. You can do this! Just say it, and then its done, right? Right. Now all I needed was a window of time…but Chambray was practically glued to his hip! ARGHHHH! I just couldn’t take it anymore. I stormed out the front step for some air.
I felt trapped in an endless circle. Every step and every action I took, felt like a huge deja vu moment. As usual the crisp cool air was a comfort and I drank it in. I looked up to the beautiful clear sky. Why was I making this so hard on myself. Life would have been 10 million times more simple if I could just let him go, but there was no way. He was my first thing I thought about when I woke and the last thought when I went to bed. I don’t think I could have let him go even if I had tried with every fiber of my being. I felt the frustration starting to grow.
Oh no! Melon? What was he doing out here? I tried ignoring him, but it didn’t work. He came in a little closer.
“Are you alright?”
“Yup! Just… fine…”
“Can I talk to you about something?”
I wanted to say. You are like the last person I want to talk to right now, but as usual I lacked the guts.
“I kinda want to be alone right now.” I confided and turned my attention back out into the darkness.
“I know I’m not your favorite person right now. Nor should I be. So I’m gonna say what I need to say. You can listen or you don’t have to either, but I really need to get this out.”
“I’ve been huge a jerk. I have done things that I am not proud of. I have hurt people, but I feel worst about hurting you. You are so sweet and I should have never led you on.”
*Sigh* “You remember that trip we took to the beach? I was gone for almost the entire evening and day before? Well…I went for a drive. I had been going through some major stuff and I had no clue where it was coming from. Mostly huge waves of guilt. Anyways, while I was out clearing my head, I started thinking about all the crappy things I had done over the years. It all came crashing down on me. I had to literally pull the car over because *cough* because I couldn’t see through all the blur. And I know an apology is not going to fix everything, but you definitely deserve one. Olivine, I’m so sorry. You are a great, sweet and wonderful person, that I misused. I hope you will give me a chance to be the friend to you that I should have been in the first place.”
I was at a loss for words.
“I really liked you, you know.”
“It was pretty messed up.”
“And you really mean what you said?”
As easy as it would have been to decline and stay mad forever, I would much prefer having a friend. Thats one less person I would need to try and avoid, and the less the better.
Surprisingly the channeling of emotions and heart to heart talk had actually given me just the push I needed to go and find Tiber. Now or never. I put my game face on and headed back in.
“I gotta go take care of something. Can you excuse me?”
“Of course. See you inside.”
I went back through the door and headed for my target. Thankfully he was alone. I guess the moment really was right.