Working out? Yup, working out. It was my new favorite past time, after the horrible new year I had suffered through. This old tread mill and I became acquainted not long after. I was so bummed about Tiber and pretty much life in general, that I decided it was time to take a new past time. I wanted something that would help to keep my mind off of all the drama I had going, and what better way to do that then burning off calories!!
So one evening after class, I threw on some exercise gear and headed to the gym in my building. It was rather small and the air conditioning was non existent, but the moment I stepped up onto my gold little friend, I started to feel better. From that point on, I was there almost every evening, burning away stress, and I certainly was not going to complain that I had also lost a few inches in the process.
I was still running on the treadmill, when my phone started to ring. I had the phone propped up on the cup holder, so I would be able to see who was calling. As soon as I saw the name pop up on the screen, I sheepishly looked to Patina who was still busy concentrating on her own business. I pressed the button and my running pace slowed to a walk and then completely stopped. I hopped off and answered. It was Veridian.
He and I had been seeing a lot of each other in the past few months. In fact, I really started to like him a whole lot. He was incredibly sweet, and kind, and loved nothing more than talking with me. Something I was not use to looking at my past experiences.
Not only did he like talking to me, he liked taking me out. He took me all over the city. Lots of places that I never even knew existed. I saw more landmarks in the first few weeks of us dating than I had the whole time I had lived there.
It felt like a whole new city.
I definitely enjoyed all the time and attention I was getting, but I wasn’t sure if it was love. He had dropped the L word a few times, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to say it back. The only experience with feelings of love was what I felt for Tiber, and that was more like an obsession and it certainly did not feel like that. Still he was awful sweet and I cared for him very much.
Which brings us to why Patina was making that face. She also knew who was on the phone and you can probably guess, that it did not thrill her too much. I kept averting my eyes, but I could feel her burning a hole right through me. I knew this conversation was coming, I just kept hoping it wouldn’t have been right then. But Patina was not about to back down. So I said my goodbyes, hung up the phone, and prepared for the sugar storm to hit.
“That was him wasn’t it?”
“And you are really going through with this?”
“Don’t you think its a little soon to be moving in together? You barely know each other!”
Oh ya forgot to mention that didn’t I? About a month after we had started dating, poor Ver was kicked out of his house by his crazy mother. She literally threw him out onto the street with no where else to go. He had tried to move in with a friend, but their living situation was terrible and there were already three people living in a one bedroom apartment, not including him. So I offered for him to stay with me. I had no problem with this whatsoever, Patina on the other hand hated the idea with a fiery passion of a thousand suns.
“Its been almost three months.” I countered. “Patina, I promise its fine. I know what I am doing, I think he and I have a real chance of making things work. Please for my sake, stop worrying.”
“You say stop worrying like its something easy to do. Of course I worry about you, this guy… I’m not so sure about his intentions, and if he hurts you Liv, I will kill him. I’m gonna make sure he knows it too.”
“I swear. Its gonna be great. He’s great and I’m happy, and I would be even happier if you would just relax. Please?”
“If you say so. I still stand by what I said. The moment he hurts you, its over for him.”
Patina was right about one thing. Things had happened quite quickly. I remember the first day that he called. I had actually forgotten all about meeting him. The Tiber fiasco was still fresh in my mind, and when the phone rang, and I looked at who it was, I almost didn’t want to answer. I was just not in the mood for socializing outside my support group, you know? For some reason though, I went against my gut and picked up anyways. He apologized for taking so long to call me back, and that is how it all began. He was quite charming and I agreed to go on our first date. We had a wonderful time, and from there we went out almost every night after.
So in all honesty when I offered to let him stay with me, I was quite excited about the whole idea.
“I really appreciate you letting me stay here with you. You don’t know how much that means to me.”
“You are always welcome here silly.”
“Can I tell you something?”
Oh no, please not now, I thought to myself.
“I love you.”
“I…I’m sorry. I just don’t think I am there yet.” I dropped my head. How embarrassing…
“Hey, I didn’t say that to make you feel bad or guilty. I just wanted you to know. Its Ok, if you are not there yet, I will wait until you are.”
That may have been the sweetest thing that anyone had ever said to me. I pulled him into a kiss and decided there were other ways I could show him I cared.
The moment felt right, and so we made our way to my bed.
Things were just about a perfect.
But there were two problems with our perfect situation. Problem #1: All the time Ver and I had spent hanging out, I had pretty much all but given up on school. I had stopped going to class and my grades started slip more and more.
Problem #2. I could have cared less…