“And it’s all your fault!!”
The moment her finger grazed my skin, I felt my stomach plummet to my feet. So that comment I had made before about this being a nightmare… I was wrong. This was my nightmare. I tried to pretend like I had not a clue what she meant, but she saw right through me.
“Me? Why Me?”
“Oh don’t you even try to play that with me!” Sapphire growled. “Disco told me the reason he was breaking up with me was because of you!”
My head started reeling. He didn’t. Please tell me he didn’t. I started pleading with myself, like somehow that would fix the unbelievable disaster that was just thrust upon me. My mouth opened but nothing came out. I started to panic. I knew my silence would be just as incriminating as a poor excuse, but there I stood mouth agape and no sound coming out. Everyone’s gazes started boring holes right through me.
Sapphire’s eyes narrowed to tiny slits, the tears still tracking down her cheeks.
“How could you Lil? HOW COULD YOU?!”
“Sapph let me… It’s not what you’re thinking.”
“No! I can’t… I can’t do this right now.” Her voice started to crumble under the weight of her own breath.
“But if you just let me explain. Please.” I pleaded again. The urgency rising higher and higher in my voice.
But there would be no explaining that night. Saph was so hurt and angry, I doubt she could really hear anything other than those final last words Disco had said to her. She started to cry again, her hands covered her face as she sobbed out her aching heart.
“Saph I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he did this to you.”
“Leave me alone! Just leave me alone!”
Anger emerged across her face, and I knew if I stuck around much longer, things were about to get ugly. I would have to save my explanation for another day, when she was a little more collected. I felt my heart fall again, somehow deeper than it had the previous time. I hated the fact that, even if only for a brief moment in time, she would think I had betrayed her, but what was I supposed to do? She wasn’t ready to listen, so I had no other choice.
I took a few steps back and started running. Fleeing to my secret hide away. The cool night air whipped across my legs and feet, causing me to shiver briefly. I tried to the fight back the tears as I treaded over the grass.
I stepped inside the sanctuary just in time. My composure was all but lost. He did. He told her, I was the reason he was breaking up with her. Why would he do that?! Now she thinks he and I were… that we were… ughhhhhh!! I had nothing to do with it! Why didn’t he remember to tell her that!? Now my best friend, my sister soul thought I had committed the ultimate transgression.
How could she forget the fact that I hated him with the fiery PASSION of a thousand burning suns! Did she think that was all an act. Oh Berry…to cover up our affair? The world started a tail spin, and I could feel the rage over taking me.
“What a moron!!!!” I screamed.
The sound echoed through the small room, and it actually helped to ease the fury ever so slightly. I no longer felt like I wanted to rip Disco’s head off, so that was a plus. I did though, have an undeniable need to give him a piece of mind. Let him know what a stupid idiotic moron he was. Yes, I was going to march right down to his house and-
The soft voice of Prelude cut through the still air and derailed my train of thought. “Are you OK? I heard screaming.”
As comforting as it should have been, him being there only made me feel worse. The tears I had been choking back were now rolling down my cheeks. I covered my face trying to hide my embarrassment and shame. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Lil… come on it’s me. It’s Lude. You can talk to me. I’m not mad at you.”
“But I gotta know. Is it true? Were you and Disco…”
“NO! Of course not!” I sighed heavily. “OK. It is true. I am the reason Disco broke up with Saph, but I had nothing to do with it! He has had this freakishly crazy crush on me and I never knew! Then he finally comes out with it and then… this happens. I never wanted this. I never wanted him! You know how much I hate him, and now Saph thinks that he and I…but she won’t listen! What am I supposed to do!?”
“Why that little son of a Berry.”
“And now she hates me. Probably will until…” I closed my eyes. “If she ever gives me a chance to explain.”
“She will. Just gotta let her cool down a little bit. I guess just hang low for a little while.”
“Lil, listen to me. It’s gonna be OK. You two WILL work it out. There is no if about it. Just remember that you did nothing wrong. None of this was your fault. So don’t feel bad.”
“But I do feel bad. In fact I have been fighting with every fiber, not to throw up on your feet right now.”
“Oh Lil.” Prelude pulled me into a hug and cried even deeper into his shoulder.
“I’ll stay right here with you, as long as you need me. OK?”
“Thanks but I kinda want to be alone.”
“Oh. You sure? I don’t mind. Midna is up with Saph, so I can stay as long as you want.”
“Ok then. Holler if you need me?”
The gesture was sweet, but I wasn’t going to be sticking around long enough for him to worry about me. I had some unfinished business to attend to, so the moment Prelude was back in the house, I crept out the sanctuary doors, hopped on my bike and headed for town.
Still in my pajamas, I peddled myself in the direction of what I believed to be Disco’s street. I had only a vague recollection of ever being at his house, and that was way back when we were all still in elementary school. As I got close to the large white house, something deep down reaffirmed that this was indeed the place. I glided up the front walkway and hopped off my bike, I leaned it against the side of the house, and then made way up the three small steps.
Double checking the address once more before I knocked on the door. Thankfully the dunderhead came to the door first, so I didn’t have to ask his mom or dad if he was home. Seeing me through the window, he hastily unlocked the door and stepped out onto the porch.
“Lil. Hey. What are you doing here?”
For a second I wanted to laugh. How could he not know what I was doing there. Did he forget already what had just happened? Instead of slapping him like I wanted, I started to shake my head in disapproval.
“I can’t believe you just dumped my sister.”
“I did… But you said I should be honest with her. So I was.”
“I meant you should have been honest with her in the first place!! I didn’t mean dump her and tell her you love someone else. Who by the way just happens to be her sister. Now she hates me!. She thinks you and I were having an affair behind her back!”
“Oh man, I’m sorry I didn’t think.”
I half snorted under my breath. “Of course you didn’t. You never think! Your only mode of action is GO! What ever comes to your head. No thought of who may be effected in the process. No, you just go and who cares who I might hurt. Why do you keep doing this to me?! No, not me… My family! Wasn’t I enough? Didn’t get your fix with torturing me, so now you have to drag my sister into it!”
“Lil it’s not like that…”
“You say that, but have you seen what you have done in the last 24 hours!? Actions speak louder than words Disco.”
“I was trying to listen to you. You said I should be more truthful so I was. I’m so sorry. I should have explained better, but she got out of the truck and started running towards the house.”
“You dumped her in our front yard?”
“No! OK, well yes, but it kind of just happened. I wasn’t even planning on telling her anything, let alone breaking up with her, but then… something shifted, I felt guilty about everything, and I knew I couldn’t lie to her anymore.”
“That’s great and seriously noble of you Disco, but do you think you could have used just the tiniest bit of your brain and left me out of it! I ca-hant believe what a dumb-berry you are!”
“I’m sorry. I’m Sorry. You sound like a broken record. I get it! You’re sorry… Sorry! Doesn’t change the fact you are an idiot and have yet again caused me more pain than your “sorry’s” will ever be able to fix.”
“Well I will just call her. Explain that it was me. Not you.”
“Oh no no no! I think you have done enough. I shudder to think what might slip out of your mouth the next time. No. I will take care of this myself, and you? You just stay away from me and my family. Got it?”
Instead of the usual biting comment back, he just stood there. The lids of his eyes were only half open, an expression of defeat rested heavy on his brow. His usual mocking tone was replaced with a somber sadness, that caused my stomach to turn. I could feel the anger I had been thriving off of start to shrivel up and die.
“I’m never going to be able to fix this am I?”
“I think the best thing you can do for Saph now, is just leave her alone.”
“I don’t mean Saph. I mean you. You’re never gonna allow me to make things right.”
“I… I don’t think it is possible no. I don’t know if you remember all the things you have done to me over the years, but I do. Every single one, you cut me deep Disco, why should I le-. Wait… NO! I am not doing this.”
“You’re right!” He called out. I’m so… no I mean, I messed this up. I guess I will have to live with that. I was young and stupid, and you were so pretty and perfect. I didn’t know how to act around you. I mean look at you! You chop your hair off and you look even more amazing than you did before. I don’t know why I thought it made sense to pick on you. Now I see how stupid it was, and I will no doubt spend the rest of my life regretting my childish choices. Lil please. Just give me a chance to prove to you that I can change. Please?”
“N-no! You listen to me. You stay away! You hear me!”
With that I turned on my heels and headed for my bike, I jumped on and peddled back towards home. What was that?! I questioned to myself as I rode away. Was he serious? Was he really and truly trying to apologize? And me? Was I actually starting to feel bad for him? No way! I lifted myself up off the seat of my bike and gave the pedals a healthy pump, quickening my pace back home.
By the time I got back to the house, I had successfully pushed Disco and his attempts to be a human being out of my head.
Exhausted I headed up to our bedroom, desperately hoping that everyone was asleep. The upstairs was quiet except for the giggling coming from Coronations room. Obviously Midna was still awake.
I carefully opened our bedroom door, to find Saph still fully dressed and asleep on her bed. No doubt she had cried herself to sleep, and was too tired to change out of her clothes. Again that wave of guilt washed over me. I tried to remind myself, like Prelude had said, that it wasn’t my fault. I was an innocent bystander…but was that right? Had I been truly innocent? Thinking back I probably spent more time fighting with Disco than I did hanging out with any of my other friends. Well besides Chestnut of course. Oh Chestnut, why did you have to go and pick that month to stay with your Aunt in Sugar Valley?
I carefully climbed into bed and tried to succumb to sleep, but sleep didn’t come easily. Thoughts and memories started to enter into my mind, things I had long ago forgotten. I tried to suppress them once more, but this time it was to no avail. I remembered everything.