Thursday came quickly, and like a great blessing from the berry above, my sister and her boyfriend requested I come to Coconut bay to help them move. A chance to get away and be close to the ocean was too good to pass up. I practically hopped right into the car to wait for everyone else. Little too eager? Maybe. Did I care? No I did not.
When we arrived, my jaw almost dropped to the sand, when I realized that their new home was actually nestled on the beach. My sister was the luckiest girl alive.
“Your house is on the beach.”
“How can you guys afford this?”
“Oh, that. Coronation’s family is paying for it.”
Once we got all the boxes in the house (there wasn’t many) Midna and I drove to the local grocery store, to help stock the fridge with needed basics. You would be surprised how expensive it is when you have to buy all your condiments, spices and cleaning supplies in one go. It was even more expensive, because the only grocery/convenience store in the whole town was a health food store. Prices were about double what they were at B-Mart. Midna didn’t seem very worried though. She pulled out an ATM card, one that I assumed belonged to Coronation, because she was careful to keep her thumb over the photo in the corner as she swiped it through the reader. Spoiled I tell you.
Once we had arrived back at her home with all our needed supplies, she stocked the fridge and prepared us a nice easy meal of grilled cheese sandwiches. She managed not to burn them, but I was never a fan of her cooking so, I graciously took the plate but only nibbled a little off one edge.
“I really appreciate you coming with us Sis. Who would have guessed Coronation would already be bogged down with two writing assignments. I meant they haven’t even had their first day yet. Is that crazy or what?”
It was extremely crazy. The poor boy wasn’t even settled in and he was already stuck in the books and typing out a report on …well I don’t remember exactly what it was on, all I knew was he was slammed and poor Midna was bored. She was attending the community college a town over, but their course work was no where near as strenuous. Or least we figured it wasn’t, since she had not been assigned any preemptive assignments.
By midday, I could feel my heart starting to race faster and faster, only a few more hours and everything would be over. Disco would be gone. Gone for an undetermined amount of time. All I hoped, was it was long enough for me to maybe find some one else to lay my affections on. Someone much more deserving.
“Disco, is leaving today isn’t he?”
The remote slipped from my hand mid surf and hit the floor with a smack. “Why does everyone feel the need to remind me of that.”
“Was just asking. Sheeesh.”
“Yes, tomorrow morning.”
“Going with Saph to the airport?”
“Nope and this discussion is over.”
I wasn’t sure if they were doing it on purpose or what, but I was beyond irritated. I leaned over and picked up the remote from the floor. The batteries had popped out the back on impact, so I had to scramble around to find them. I finally got them back in and reconvened my mind numbing channel surfing.
The next few hours passed in complete silence, until Midna looked at the clock on the wall. “I should probably get you back home now.”
It was close to 5:00 pm by the time we pulled up to the house. The car ride, just like the previous few hours was spent without either of us speaking a word. Partly because I felt guilty for being a berry-hole and partly because I had a feeling she felt exactly the same. I did however thank her for inviting me over and wished her safe travels back home. I started to say I was sorry, but she waved her hand dismissing it all, as if it was nothing.
“We just want you to be happy again. Bye… Sis.”
I shut the car door and she sped down the road, drifting out of sight in only a matter of moments. I noticed as I headed up the walk, that the car was gone and the smell of dinner was heavy in the air, but somewhere between Coconut Bay and Twizzlerbrook I had lost my appetite and decided instead to go up to my room to read.
Something I wasn’t expecting though was sitting on the dresser just inside my bedroom door. A bouquet of light blue roses, tucked inside a lavender pot, was staring back at me. I walked gingerly across the room and over to them. The fragrance from the buds were so potent I could smell them without even stooping over. Sitting just before the clay pot was a small envelope. I swallowed hard before I managed the nerve to retrieve it. Slipping the card from it’s paper concealer, I opened it to find one word printed neatly upon it. “Goodbye.” was all it said.
I set the envelope and card on the dresser and then traced my finger along rim of the pot. I pulled one flower from the bushel and sniffed it gently. Tears tugged at the corner of my eyes. I hated the fact he had this ability to make me feel so strongly. Whether it was love or hate, there was a passion behind it I couldn’t quite explain, and now he was leaving. I couldn’t fight it any more. I had to see him one last time. At least tell him goodbye. I needed that. Why? I had no idea, but my heart was telling me it was the right thing to do, and for once I dropped my pride and allowed myself to listen.
I ran from the house and over to my bike. I kicked the front tire and cursed out some not so nice words upon the discovery that it was flat. I had no time to waste to try and track down the pump, so I took off down the hill walking/jogging as fast as my bare feet could carry me.
Twenty minutes later, his house came into view, but something I did not see was his truck. In fact none of the cars were out front and the house was dark. No one was home. Maybe he was out with Saph. I pulled my phone from pocket to call her.
“Lil? How was Coconut Bay.”
“It was fine…Are you ummmm with Disco?”
“No he just left for the airport.”
“What? You said he left tomorrow.”
“Well technically speaking he leaves at six. Why? Is everything alright. Are you… crying?”
“No. I was just…I gotta go.”
“Where are you? Thunder and I can come get you.”
“No. I am fine. I will see you at home.”
“Oh. Ok Lil. Bye.”
I hung up the phone and starting wandering around like a lost puppy. What had I done? And for that matter, what was I doing? When had the great Waterlily resorted to moping like 12 year old girl. I baffled by my erratic behavior, but continued to walk around town. That free feeling I was supposed to be feeling wasn’t there. All I felt was anxiousness. Another fine mess I had gotten myself into. It wasn’t till I was only a few feet from it, that I realized I was walking right through the park where Disco and I had our first date. The sun was slowly setting along the horizon behind. I was secretly wishing that he would pop out of the bushes and yell surprise! But nothing ever happened.
I slumped down on the old see-saw, and I remained there till it was completely dark. I couldn’t seem to find the will to drag myself from it. I looked at the other end and realized how fitting it all was. A one manned (or in my case womanned) see-saw. So lonely without that other side to balance it out. I had the urge to cry, but refused to let them fall. I was a grown woman now, I didn’t need to be crying every time I turned around.
I almost thought it was dream when I saw a silhouette appear out from the darkness.
“Can I join you?”
My heart fluttered with excitement, but I was prepared to play this one cool. I nodded and dug my feet into the dirt to help lift myself up and allow him to get on. I couldn’t believe it. Here he was. Had he stayed? Did he change his mind? What was I supposed to do now. I had so much to say. Where to start?
“I am a little surprised to see you here.” I stated flatly.
“I know. Flight was canceled. Bad weather.”
We slowly and playfully bounced up and down on the old wooden teeter-totter, my nerves ironing themselves out as we did. I had finally built up the courage. This was it. “Disco. I have something I need to say.”
“The reason I am out here, is because… well I missed you. I don’t even know when it happened, but somewhere along the line, I found myself getting attached. Maybe it was all those nice gifts, or maybe it was when you turned out to be such a gentlemen on our date. I don’t really know. The point is. I miss you. I miss that guy who made me smile all those times and made me feel more loved and appreciated than I ever had before.”
“I missed you too Lil.”
“But…You may have been the one to make me feel my highest, but you are also the person who has taken me to my lowest, and that is just too hard for me to get passed. I’m scared. Scared that the old Disco will come back and I will find myself hurting even more because I allowed myself to lo-” I paused as my cheeks flushed bright crimson in the moonlight. “I just don’t want to be hurt anymore.
Carefully he stood from the teeter totter, allowing my end to softly touch back down to the dirt, before walking over and sitting just a feet or so from me.
“Lil, I won’t ever hurt you again, and I am not asking for forever, all I want is a chance to show you, how much you mean to me, and how sorry I am for all the careless things I have done. You make me want to try harder. I want to be the one who takes the hurt away, not inflict it. If you just give me a chance, you will see that there is more to me, that I selfishly hid from you. You are beautiful and amazing, and I know you don’t need me” Sliding over the handle we were almost nose to nose. “But for just a little while…can I hold you?”
My heart stampeded through my chest, and one last time I nodded. I slipped into his arms and allowed myself to let go completely into the embrace. His arms squeezed tightly around me pulling me in close. They were strong and I felt a rush all through my body every time I felt his breath upon my neck. “If it takes the rest of my life, I will make it up to you. Even if we aren’t together. I love you Lil.”
“I know…You don’t have to say anything. I think it will take me a long time to ever earn those words from you, but I will wait forever if I have to. I know you probably think I am insane.”
We fell silent after that. I was fully enveloped in his hold and it actually felt right. Like it was where I meant to be. I had no idea if anything would come of it, but I held onto the moment. I had never felt so warm or safe in my life. If this was any indication of what love could be, maybe there was hope for me as a convert yet.
“It’s getting pretty late. We should be getting you back home now. Let’s go grab my truck from the house.”
Standing on the front step, we started to say our last good nights. He was just about to head back for his truck when I gently tugged at his arm. “Wait.” Obediently he stopped, his eyes watching my every move. I took hold of his arms and wrapped them tightly around me, which brought our faces or only inches from each other. I giggled nervously as I leaned in slowly closing the gap between us. Catching on to what I was doing, he brought one hand up to my chin and softly pressed his lips against my own.
Under the moonlight in front of Berry and all to see, we shared our first true kiss. I had no idea where things would lead us from there, but if there was to be more kisses like that one, I was totally on board.