Life is precious. We all know that. Or least we think we do. We go through our lives, probably repeating that phrase a hundred times over, but do we really understand the complexity of the words? Not the only the meaning, but the feeling as well. Life is precious. It can be given in a moment of passion, or taken a way with one misplaced step. Sometimes through no fault of our own, we take life for granted. It’s just a part of us, that we some how seem to forget is a blessing, not a right.
But when a life begins to slip through our fingers, suddenly we remember just how special it all is. Fear enters our heart and we can feel the grip tightening, desperately trying to hold on in those final fleeting moments. No amount of sheer will or force can keep a life bound to this plane of existence. All we can do, is sit back and watch. Hope for the best. Sometimes we are rewarded for our leap of faith with heartbreak and disappointment.
And sometimes we are blessed with a miracle. A chance to prove we understand just how lucky and precious we truly are.
The doctors called it a fluke. Mom and Dad called it a miracle. I knew what it really was. It was my chance to make my life better. Stop holding back and push the fear away. All the gifts in my life seemed to dance before me. An overwhelming feeling of joy pulsed through my body the moment his face appeared around the corner. I knew what I was meant to do.
I had said if I made it through, we would get married. At the time I was speaking out of fear. I didn’t want lose him. Even as much as I hated to admit it at the time, he had over our short time together, filled my heart with a love and adoration I would have never expected. Those final moments of consciousness with his hand in mine, I knew my life wouldn’t have been the same without him.
Our road had been rocky, there was no doubt, but all of that seemed to have lifted far away. It no longer felt like a part of my burden. Perhaps I had left it on the other side. Another unlikely gift. It’s amazing how perspectives can change so rapidly in a moment of panic and loss. I knew I was dying, I could feel it. The tones in the doctors and nurses voices, as I zoomed in and out of consciousness. Their main concern was the baby, it was obvious from the little that I gathered, that they didn’t hold out much hope for me.
But I hadn’t given up. I knew I had to keep going. For my little boy, my loving husband to be, my parents. Too many people needed me. I couldn’t just leave them. They were all counting on me to pull through. I kept them in my minds eye. Promising to myself, that if I could just hold on a little longer, I would see them all again. But as I said before sheer will can only get one so far.
They had just gotten the baby out, and were working to stitch me back up, when my body finally let go. My heart stopped, and the doctors immediately did what they could to revive me, while a nurse tried her best to busy herself with cleaning off the baby. It took three tries to shock me back to existence. My heart monitor sprang to life once more. Only it wasn’t just my heart that was now beating. A tiny little rhythm much smaller and faster than my own, threw everyone in the room into shock.
“This can’t be!” The doctor exclaimed rushing back to my side. Pulling the ultrasound equipment out, he carefully scanned over the newly sutchered area. It was only a matter of seconds before he called out to one of the nurses.
“Nurse we have to open her back up now!”
I read the file and report a dozen times, and every time it was the same. No one, not even the doctor could explain how they had missed her. It was as if she wasn’t there before. Which all of us knew was impossible. The doctors relied upon some, weird medical jargon to try and smooth it all over, but we knew and well as they did, they were at a loss for a real explanation. Perhaps a gift I brought back with me from the other side. It sounded crazy, but it was no more bizarre than just failing to see her there.
Seeing them behind the glass made it all so real. I had cheated death, and these two beautiful angels were my proof. It had taken all my strength to walk to corridor to the preemie ward. My nurse was not very keen on the idea, but I wasn’t about to go another minute without seeing them. Carefully supported by Disco, we walked down the hall. My beautiful little boy and girl. I was filled with so many emotions, it was hard to tell what was up and what was down.
My mind started to wonder into dangerous territory. What if I hadn’t made it. They would have never known their mother. What would their lives have been like. Almost as if he was reading my mind, Disco wrapped his arm around my shoulder and drew me in.
“You’re here now. So just push those ideas far from your mind. You’re safe.”
I tried to smile, it only came out halfhearted. “I want to go home.”
Life after I returned home, wasn’t much different from how it had been in the hospital. I was on strict instructions to rest as much as possible. All my meals were brought to me, and the only thing I was allowed to do by myself, was bathe and use the bathroom. It seemed an unfair punishment. Forced to lay in bed, while the rest of the family got to have all the time they wanted with the babies.
Wisteria Lace was named by my mother. When the paperwork had arrived in the hospital to fill out their names, I was still in an out of a medicated stupor. I did manage to name our son, but that was only because Disco and I had discussed boys names before hand. Seance Chiffon.
Wisteria Lace, was such a beautiful name, I often wondered where Mom had heard it. Every time I would ask though, all she would say is she had heard it “around”. Whatever that meant.
Since I was on permanent bed rest, I was appointed the new Hominy Popcorn narrator. Which I had to admit was a lot of fun. Affair was talking quite a lot by then, so he was always full of questions and excitement. We were now up to two chapters a night and he was even able to point out a word or two.
Watching his face shine in the lamplight, I could feel my heart swell. He was getting so big. He wasn’t going to be my baby boy much longer. Soon he would be dragging the Hominy Popcorn books off to his room, and locking the door so he could read them by himself. A moment, I was not all prepared for, so instead of dwelling on it further, I ruffled his hair and continued on.
“Hominy, knew it only give her satisfaction, if he complained. So he continued to..”
I don’t normally do this, but after typing this up. I feel that this piece needed to be a chapter all on it’s own. Little shorter I know, but I hope that you will enjoy it none the less. The next part will be coming shortly. Perhaps this evening if all goes to plan. For now, let’s celebrate! Yay! She made it!! lol