It was probably day three of my nightly ritual, that finally tipped us off to what had happened. We weren’t really trying, but at the same time, it wouldn’t have been that big of an upset if it were to happen. So when I jumped off my bed, for the third time that week, and ran to the nearest bathroom, I kinda had a good inkling to what we were in for. I guess Tapestry did too, because he ran down the hall and stopped short of the bathroom door, to watch me drop all of stomach contents into the bowl.
“Lace?” He whispered, tapping lightly on the open frame.
I was in far too big of a hurry to shut the door behind me, so it was sitting wide open on it’s hinges, giving him a front and center view to the show. I didn’t answer his question. I just dove my face into the bowl again, with another agonizing heave, my stomach ensuring that every last ounce had been expelled. Finally the endless wave of nausea gave me a bit of reprieve and I found myself hugging the bowl. “Urghhhh.” I gurgled, trying to steady myself back to my feet.
“Lace love?” Again Tapesty’s voice tried to step in and offer some sort of comfort, this time I was able to formulate a small reply back. I’m alright, but I think we better make an appointment with the doctor first thing in the morning.”
Well, low and behold, that the doctor would come back to our room, grinning brightly as she congratulated us both on our new found parenthood. I was so excited! Being a mother was definitely something I had dreamed of since I was a young girl. I was an excellent mother to all my dolls as well as my friends. I was finally going to get to test my skills out on the real thing! My child, our child, I couldn’t wait to get home and deliver (hah see what I did?!) the good news to everyone!
Everyone had similar reactions. There were smiles and squeals and congratulations all around. Grandma was so excited she could barely contain it, while grandpas smile looked as if it were going to split his face. The boys were looking forward to being an uncle and Dad was just as happy as the rest. There was only one person left to talk to and I couldn’t wait! I just knew she would be stoked.
So I may have over estimated just a little bit. I had looked all over the house, and finally located her in the upstairs hallway. After all the excited reactions I had already recieved, I was expecting the same as I hopped in front of her, face beaming. “Hey mom guess what?” I grinned.
“Tap and I…. are going to have baby!!!” I started bouncing up and down, waiting for a huge smile to spread across her face, once the words finally sunk in. It never did. Instead fear danced behind her eyes, clear as day. “Oh love.” She stammered. “That is wonderful. Congratulations.”
My bouncing stopped immediately, I read her face, trying to figure out why she would react the way she had, but it was much like a puzzle. It was like she wanted to be excited, but something was holding her back. “You’re not happy.” I stated flatly, pointing out the obvious.
Suddenly her whole mood changed. “No no.” She squeaked. “I’m happy. I’m just… scared.”
Scared wasn’t a strong enough word to really describe what was happening in my mothers head. Terrified or frightened to death would have been much more accurate. I knew a little about the trouble she had, when delivering me and my brother, but I had no clue how deeply it was seeded in her subconscious. The painful memories, her near brush with death, it was too much for her to take, and the thought of the same thing happening to me, had her in a constant state of nervousness. Just watching her was making me anxious. No one seemed have the answer either. We all tried different approaches to help her settle down, but nothing worked. I got to a point where I had to avoid her, just to keep myself from turning into a nervous wreck right along with her. Things only got worse, when my doctor put me on bed rest. It wasn’t anything too serious, but after reading some vitals during a checkup, he wanted me to take it easy. Poor mom totally lost it.
It finally got to a point where I just couldn’t stand it any longer. I was coming downstairs for a snack, when I found her mindlessly muddling in the kitchen. I stepped into the doorway and marched right up to her. “Mom.” I commanded, taking hold of her shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Mom, you gotta stop this.”
She looked into my eyes, I could see exhaustion in every fine line on her face.
“Nothing is going to happen. Every pregnancy is different, and just because you had complications, doesn’t mean I will. We just have to keep positive energy out there. I am going to be fine, the baby is going to be fine, but seeing you so worked up has me incredibly tense. So please for yours and my sake, try to relax. I’m not going anywhere. Please? For me?”
I watched her face intently, hoping some where along the line, she would lighten a bit. I think the words were doing there best to sink in, but it was’t going to be something she could just switch off, so I was willing to take what ever I could get. “You’re right love. Even the doctors said what happened to me, was incredibly rare.”
“See. Just focus on the positive, you are going to have a grandchild soon! Isn’t that great?!”
Finally, the faintest smile started to grow across her lips, something I had been waiting months to see. “It’s the greatest.”
After that I was able to return to my bed rest with a little bit more ease, but with all the drivel that was on during the afternoon hours of the day, I soon found myself incredibly bored. Flicking through the channels, I had the choice of some judge show, Judge Jujubee, or some talk show, where they were trying to discover which berry was the father. I flipped between the two for a good hour, before I just switched it off completely. Resting my head against the small mound of pillows I had built, I allowed myself to sink deeper into the covers, my gaze focused intently up at the ceiling. “Well, I’m bored.” I grumbled out loud to myself. I started to reach for my book on the bedside table when I heard a lovely melody carrying itself down the hall towards my room. It was grandma on her piano, and her music seemed much more inviting than sitting my bum being bored for hours on end.
It took me only a few brief seconds to decide things would be a lot more fun where she was, then where I was, so I pushed myself from the bed and waddled down the hall to meet her. I was incredibly pregnant by that point, and even though, I didn’t look that much different, I already had a little bit of a belly, I felt like a beached wail, sailing the open seas, only less gracefully. I was surprise how much energy it took to walk the tiny distance between, but I was in need a little bit of a movement for the day, so I continued my slow trek till I made it to the music/art room.
The song was lovely, slow and fluid, her fingers moved across the keys with such grace, it was hard to believe she did it all from touch memory. It was like watching a live piece of art. Definitely more interesting than finding out if he “was not the father”. I watched her silently for several minutes before she addressed me, never wavering from her melodious performance. “Hello dear. Come to watch an old lady tickle the ivory?”
I chuckled. “I would hardly call you an old lady, but yes I was coming to watch to play.”
“Well come in and take a seat. Aren’t you supposed to be resting?”
I started to look for an open chair, when she scooted over and patted the space beside her, the music abruptly halting. “Well this is the best seat in the house.”
I wasn’t too sure if we would both fit, but grandma seemed pretty confident we would, so I settled in on the bench and her music resumed. “Now where was I? Oh yes.” Fingers flying across the keys as the music came to its crescendo. I had heard her play many times over the years, but never really took the time to observe and appreciate how magical and joyous is was to watch her. “That’s incredible. You’re incredible. How long have you played the piano gramma?”
“From the moment I was able to sit upright on this bench dear.”
“It looks hard. How ever did you learn without being able to see the keys?”
“Lot’s of practice. It wasn’t easy, but when you find something in life that you love, you will conquer all obstacles to be together.” That last little part, she said with a wink and somehow I had a feeling it had a double meaning, but not completely understanding her reference, I just smiled and said. “Ah I see.”
Again the music stopped. “Did you want to try?”
“Oh I don’t know. I have never touched an instrument in my life.”
“Well you are sitting next to second best music teacher there is, why not give it a shot.”
One afternoon together, transformed into a new obsession for me. Playing the piano was fun!! I wasn’t very good at it just yet, but that wasn’t preventing me from practicing every chance I got! There was something relaxing about expressing yourself through those keys, it was very therapeutic and I could tell I wasn’t the only one in the house to pour her heart out to the ivory eared listener. I just felt sorry for everyone else in the house who had to listen to my earlier sessions. I was pretty bad, and that was being kind.
By the time my due date neared, things around the house finally started to smooth themselves into a normal rhythm. Mom and I could be in the same room, without her spazzing and I was enjoying an endless supply of food, that I was allowed and recommended to eat. Even with my weight being on the higher end, the doctor expressed this wasn’t a good time to lose weight, so he wanted me to eat. If I was hungry, I was to eat, and if I had a craving he wanted me to satisfy it. Oddly enough, baby Chiffon liked pancakes, all kinds. I varied it up, but I swear for the last three months, I ate pancakes twice a day some times. Oh man were they good.
Would you believe me if I told you my water broke in my bathroom? I know right! How more perfect can you get! It started as a low roar, but in an instant I knew I was in labor and holy berry did it hurt! I let out a low groan and tried to grab the door handle. Another contraction hit and I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. “Babe!” I yelped, clutching on for dear life. “Babe! The baby is coming! Ahhhhh!”
I knew he was going to freak, but it worse than I had pictured. His frantic failing was almost too comical to take. I wanted to laugh, but the impeding contractions, was causing my sides to hitch. In between breaths, I did my best to calm him, so he could help me to the car. “Hospital now. Everything is fine, but we gotta move!”
“Okay! Okay! I’m Okay!”
It seemed all my tireless work had faded by the time we reached the hospital. I was pretty sure they were going to need two wheelchairs, one for me, and one for my hyperventilating husband. I wanted to stick around to help him, but I had much more pressing matters to deal with. He finally made it to the room, so I assumed someone helped him to the elevator and he finally settled out enough to take it from there.
To my mothers great relief, everything went smoothly. We delivered a healthy baby boy and everyone survived the ordeal, even poor Tap. Tosca Chiffon was born in the early afternoon and the second we heard his little cry, we knew our life was going to filled with much joy and adventure. Our first deposit to the Chiffon bank had been successful. Welcome to the family little one!
The next chapter will be here in just a couple of days. I first thought I wanted to write them together, but have decided to split them up. So hope you liked it. Baby chapters are always the hardest for me!!